"Change is only good if it is in the RIGHT direction."
--Winston Churchill
This is the blog of an ordinary married couple who seem to have difficulty in being ordinary. Please join us as we laugh at ourselves and contemplate this world that we live in.

Lil Bit

So.....as most of you know, Matt and I are going to be venturing into the scary world of parenthood come December. As a typical type A person, I am still wondering at how something so unexpected snuck into my life. This next year was going to be my year of selfishness when we would finally have free time and money! I have been daydreaming about elaborate vacations and finally purchasing horses. I had the whole thing planned out! I was going to do all the things that my friends have been doing for decades while I have been in my delayed gratification mode of school/residency/fellowship. I just don't understand how this happened.....well, you know what I mean!

Now, don't get me wrong....I am excited about carrying a new life inside of me but I do feel compelled to be honest that part of me is sad at how my life is going to change. Now I am sure that all of my friends with children who read this are going to say things like motherhood is amazing and such a blessing and yada, yada, yada.....but I seriously have a hard time believing that the majority of mom's don't at some point think to themselves "What the hell did I get myself into! My life would have been so much easier if we wouldn't have had children!" Even though, it must be in the secret code of mothers to never utter these words, I bet most of them have thought them, perhaps even daily! I bought a book yesterday titled "It Sucked and Then I Cried: how I had a baby, a breakdown, and a much needed margarita." It seems hilarious and I think it will suit me well because I love the raw honesty in it!

Now so that those of you who read this don't report me to DHR, I do need to say that we are excited about having a son. We have yet to give him an official name so for the time being he is referred to as "Lil bit". He gets blamed for a considerable amount of ice cream consumption which I am finding is a great perk. (I plan on breast feeding so I am justifying a considerable amount of chocolate consumption!) Additionally, Matt is under some delusion that I can't vacuum anymore (not sure where he got that idea from!!!) so I am off the hook for vacuuming up all the dog/cat hair that accumulates in our home--yet another perk! I am thoroughly spoiled as I pretty much have 24/7 access to the ultrasound. I think that I have as many pictures of our son as some parents do of their 1 yr old child and we are only 18wks pregnant! The clinic's new 3D/4D scanner is my new addiction and it is so amazing to see your own child grow and develop. Of course I am neurotic and I have counted all the fingers/toes and make sure that the heart/spine/lip, etc look normal as well. I do think that I will be less neurotic when I have made it to 24wks and know that I have a viable baby. Knowing too much can make things frightening!

So in lieu of going on my elaborate vacation that was planned in my head (and let me tell you, it was going to be amazing!) I am going to venture on a different but quite exciting trip with my younger brother, Jake. We have yet to finalize where out West we are going, but the fact is from 8/29 to 9/14 I will be on the road out West with Jake in his Volkswagen Vanagan!

And I plan on playing the part. I will be 26-28wks pregnant, so definitely showing and I plan on wearing some of those hippie flowy dresses to fully embrace the experience. My only two fears are that #1 we will break down in the middle of ugly Kansas where there will be nothing to do and #2 that we will get pulled over repeatedly because of concerns for drug possession and somehow I will lose my medical license! Other than that I am very excited! I do need to get my pregnant bootie in shape though, if I think that I am going to be climbing some mountains :)

My mom (the real hippie) and me!


Anonymous said...

Sarah, I absolutely felt the same way you do. And it is true that motherhood is wonderful (yada yada yada ;) ) but that doesn't make your feelings in any way bad or less understandable. I recommend that you watch "Waitress" with Keri Russell very soon.

The trip sounds wonderful, I hope you have a great time!

Elisabeth Kibler

The DeVries' said...

Oh, Sarah!! I KNOW how you feel---we're trying for #2 and many days I think to myself, "What are we doing?" Isabella is for sure the best thing that's ever, ever happened to me...but I MISS me time!! It NEVER happens and now I realize we should've been taking trips to Europe instead of going to grad school, being responsible, buying houses, yada, yada...we never traveled to Europe of did much of what I would have liked to do...so our answer is that we're going to move to NYC in a few years...Lord willing. CONGRATS on the boy, and enjoy the first few months, as sleep deprived as you will be, it's much easier than toddler-hood, I'm realizing! Love ya girl!!

Matt and Sarah said...

Elizabeth--I will have to check out that movie! Good to know that I am not alone! We will be coming back to Jax to visit sometime this summer and will let you guys know cuz would be great to see you!

Jen--It is good to know that we are not the only crazy people out there daring to have children and raise them away from all the help of family. I honestly think that is what scares me the most! I want my mom there to take our little rascal on Fri nights so Matt & I can have somewhat of a life! I guess we will just have to find a nice teenage girl to babysit regularly! :) I hope NYC works out I am sure that would be great from Ryan's career and definately an adventure if you have 2 little ones :)

alyssa said...

Do you remember talking to me when I found out I was expecting Faith??!! Talk about not being in "the plan"! And yes, I am greatful for her, but I had wished (and still sometimes am sad that I missed) those first few years of being married without kids and just having fun. I had about a good month there before we found out we were pregnant I guess!! Anyway, motherhood is a blessing, but also a challange. You will find yourself rising to the challenge, needing a good mom's group (MOPS?!?!), friends who already have kids who you can ask crazy questions to, and lots of date nights! You and Matt will make wonderful parents!! I'm thrilled that you are going to have a little boy!!

Amy said...

lol...oh Sarah, appreciate your honesty! Being a parent is the craziest thing ever. I think about #2 coming in a few weeks and shortness of breath quickly sets in, followed by lightheadedness. It will keep you on your knees-which I think is what the Lord intended :) I keep telling myself that many people have two kids or more and they somehow still seem normal to me...so we'll survive too, right?

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